Why Should I Care?
by Bri Yami-neko
Summary: Angsty song-fic with a certain Gundam couple...not saying who...but yaoi warning.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Gundam boys, I don't own this song, which happens to be "Why Should I Care" by Sara Evans. This song soooo rawks. The first time I heard it, I just thought of this couple. Not telling ya who. *^_^* Yes, I'm strange. I'm aware of that. Blame my muse. It's allll his fault. Uhuh. *nodnod* Keji's fault. Okay, I'm done. (For now.)  
  
// aljsdaoi // = Song lyrics  
  
aosihdd = Thoughts  
  
'asiahoif' = That little annoying voce thingie that puts you down.(You'll see.)  
  
And I'm pretty sure everyone knows "aosidn" = Dialogue.  
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Why Should I Care?  
  
He leaned against the wall, olive eyes narrowed into slits that never left the pair sitting at the grandest table in the restaurant. Black clothes helped him blend with the night outside of the window he stared into. A low, barely audible growl voiced itself from his throat, bringing the gazes of those nearest to him to rest on his half-hidden form. He gave a quick nod to them, and slipped off to find himself another hiding place.   
  
// Why should I care if you  
Found somebody new  
And you look like you're in love  
  
And why should I care if he  
Seems a lot like me  
And he's all you've ever dreamed of..  
  
I didn't care enough to keep you around  
So, tell me, why should I care now? //  
  
He shoved his hands into his jacket pocket as he walked down the lonely park path. Just to the right of him, behind some trees, he could hear laughter coming from the pair he was trailing. The sound of his angel laughing with another made his heart clench up, and crystal tears sprung to his eyes. He blinked them away and shivered softly. It was a warm September night, but his soul was frozen over.  
Qu-koi….. He though to himself, his gaze on the two people hidden behind the trees both longing and painful. I'm sorry….can't you see how I need you?   
  
// I was the one who let you go….  
I never told you that I loved you  
I couldn't promise anything   
When you needed me to  
My heart was never really there….  
So why should I care…..why should I care..?  
I just do…. //  
  
He sat at a table a little ways away from theirs, giving him full view of them as his angel shared a chocolate shake with that braided baka. His angel and him used to do that….How could Quatre love Duo over him?   
No…..it wasn't either of their faults. It was his. All his. If only I knew what I did wrong….if only I knew what he wanted… No…that was wrong as well. He had know what his angel needed….but he hadn't been ready to make that kind of commitment yet. Why couldn't I have just told him how I felt? Why couldn't I even say 'Me, too' when he told me he loved me?   
'You know why….' A little voice murmured mockingly inside of him. 'You don't deserve someone like Quatre. He's too good for you. He deserves someone who will treat him right.'   
He bowed his head and let the tears trickle over, because he knew the voice was right.   
  
// So why should I care if I  
Ain't nothing in your eyes  
What you felt for me is gone  
  
And why would I feel that way  
Now that it's too late  
To change what I did wrong  
  
Oh, I didn't care enough to keep you around  
So, tell me, why should I care now…? //  
  
He didn't have the heart to follow his angel anymore, so he walked back to their home. His home. Their home, his home. He shook his head, trying to clear it. He stepped up to the front door and pushed the key into the lock before pulling open the door.   
He wandered aimlessly around the house, somehow ending up in the kitchen. A piece of cream paper with Quatre's writing on it lay there on the counter. Though he had already read it over and over, he picked it up and read it again.   
  
"Trowa-   
I've always loved you, Trowa, and I always will. But, I'm afraid you don't return the love I have for you. And so, I am putting our love behind us. You are free to do whatever you want, Trowa, with no commitments. You'll never have to tell me you love me.   
-Quatre"  
  
His eyes clouded over, and he sank down to the floor, clutching the note. I do, Quatre…I love you. I'm not afraid to say it anymore. Why did it take your leaving to make me see? Please koi….come back….I need you….I love you…   
Taking a deep breath, he picked up the phone and dialed the number of Quatre's apartment. He was counting on the fact that he would still be out with Duo. Sure enough, he heard three rings and an answering machine. With a voice that barely wobbled, he left his message.   
"Quatre…..I'm sorry I never told you how I felt. I thought my actions were enough, but I guess I was wrong. You deserve to be with someone who will express his feelings to you. I hope you and Duo fare well. I love you, Quatre."   
He hung up the phone and reached for the knife drawer.   
  
  
// I was the one who let you go….  
I never told you that I loved you  
I couldn't promise anything   
When you needed me to  
My heart was never really there….  
So why should I care…..why should I care..?  
Well, I just do…. //  
  
Quatre closed the door behind him and sighed. He couldn't help it, he still missed Trowa. A blinking caught his eye, and he walked over to the machine and pushed the play button. His eyes filled with tears as Trowa's message played. He blinked them away and, smiling, grabbed his keys.   
He reached the house they had shared for three years and stepped out of the car. He ran up to the door and knocked on it. Upon hearing no answer, he twisted the knob, found it open, and went inside.   
"Trowa?" He called, peeking in all of the rooms. As he headed for the back of the house, he saw the light was on in the kitchen and switched his direction.   
"Trowa?" He asked again, walking in through the door.   
What he saw stopped him in his tracks. Trowa lay in the middle of the room, blood all over and still more coming from him. Quatre stood rooted for a few seconds, then raced to the other pilot's side, skidding slightly in the blood. He knelt down and searched for a pulse.   
"Damn it, Trowa….be alive…"   
His fingers search vainly for any sign of life, any at all. Crying, he leaned over and kissed Trowa's cold lips. "What have I done…" he murmured, salty tears pouring down his face to mix with the red, sticky blood. "I love you, Trowa…"   
His sharp eyes caught sight of glinting metal against all of the crimson, and he reached for the sharp butcher knife tinted with his koi's blood. "I'll be with you soon, koi…." He said soothingly as he place the knife to his throat and slashed.   
Quatre's body fell across Trowa's, and with his last remaining strength, he gripped Trowa's hand and held it tight.   
  
// Oh, my heart was never really there…  
So why should I care….why should I care….  
I just do...  
Yeah, I just do…  
Baby, I just do…… //  
  
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AN: Well, what did you think? My first angsty fic, so please don't be too harsh? R&R, or how else will I improve?   



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